Get 50% off First Cheese Club Box
Ends: 1+ month
Terms & conditions, exclusions may apply.
Cheese doesn’t get much air time in the modern e-commerce landscape. It’s fussy to store, awkward to ship, and unlike the latest kitchen gadget or "miracle skincare serum," it’s not especially concerned with reinventing itself. And yet, for all the digital noise out there, cheese endures - gloriously indifferent to…Cheese doesn’t get much air time in the modern e-commerce landscape. It’s fussy to store, awkward to ship, and unlike…
Ends: 1+ month
Terms & conditions, exclusions may apply.
Terms & conditions, exclusions may apply.
Terms & conditions, exclusions may apply.
Terms & conditions, exclusions may apply.
Terms & conditions, exclusions may apply.
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Cheese doesn’t get much air time in the modern e-commerce landscape. It’s fussy to store, awkward to ship, and unlike the latest kitchen gadget or "miracle skincare serum," it’s not especially concerned with reinventing itself. And yet, for all the digital noise out there, cheese endures - gloriously indifferent to Instagram filters or AI-driven optimization. One site trying to give it the attention it quietly demands is Pong Cheese, a UK-based retailer specialising in artisanal cheeses, gift boxes, and possibly the country’s most olfactorily ambitious subscription box.
Pong doesn’t waste time pretending to be something it’s not. The branding is self-aware, tongue firmly in cheek, and armed with a pun. They sell properly stinky cheese. Strong contenders like Langres, Époisses, and of course, the legendarily nose-forward Stinking Bishop are all in the line-up - one suspects the warehouse smells fantastic, or at the very least, memorable.
Pong's catalogue spans individual cheeses, curated boxes and monthly subscriptions. The standout deal at the moment is their Cheese Club offer: 50% off the first month (bringing the price down to £12), which gets you a rotating assortment of four cheeses delivered to your doorstep. That’s about what you’d pay for a couple of drinks at a London pub that smells considerably worse than any washed rind wheel.
The subscription model - reviewed fairly well by customers, though not quite with cult-like reverence - offers a practical way to dabble without needing to make hard choices. You can cancel any time, which keeps the relationship refreshingly casual. Shipping is £4.95, or free on orders over £50, and while that’s not especially generous, it beats the anxiety of transporting brie in your backpack on the Tube.
Boxes are generally under a kilo, landing well-packaged and chilled. Expect a 2–4 day shipping turnaround within the UK, and you can nominate your delivery date. Handy if you’re planning to stage a Father’s Day cheese intervention or just need a compelling reason to cancel dinner reservations.
Pong has leaned into the gift market robustly. Their themed boxes - like "The Best Dad In The World Box" for £44 or the slightly riskier-sounding "Ultimate Pong Box" - are competent options for anyone who doesn’t want to brave the deli counter but still wants to maintain the illusion of taste. The price per gram here isn’t wildly economical, but you’re paying (knowingly) for curation and presentation.
The "Mystery Box" is more of a gamble, promising ~700g of surprise cheeses for £26. It’s the cheese world’s version of roulette, except the worst-case scenario is a runny Vacherin that leaks slightly in the fridge. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t such a bad outcome.
Browsing the site is (mostly) functional, though the design does occasionally feel like something conjured during the Gouda boom of 2014. Pages load fine, navigation is straightforward, but occasionally you get the sense that the layout is trying to cram in just one more product blurb, like a cheeseboard pushed slightly beyond capacity.
For browsers building their own box, there’s a low-drama deal that rewards commitment subtly: choose any three individual cheeses and get a fourth for free. It’s not flashy, but it’s probably the most economical way to explore the stranger corners of the dairy world - from crumbly Caerphillys to things aged in caves and names you can’t pronounce until your second glass of wine.
It’s worth noting that Pong lets you add a £20 "gift hamper" to orders for that elevated, wicker-basket aesthetic. It won’t change the cheese inside, but it might help secure moral superiority at a barbecue. Refunds? You’ll need a pretty good reason - this is food, after all - but customer service does respond, and faulty deliveries seem to be uncommon.
If you’re lactose-averse, or if mild cheddar is your definition of adventure, this probably isn’t your thing. But for anyone fluent in the language of rinds, bloomy moulds, or textural nuance, Pong offers something better than novelty: consistency. It’s a small operation doing one thing well. It won’t rejig your worldview, but it might improve your weekend.
Is it cheaper than just going to a local cheesemonger? Not exactly. But we all know how that turns out - you leave with two cheeses you didn’t mean to buy, half a loaf of rye bread, and a vague sense of shame. At least this way, the impulse buys arrive without judgment.
Shipping from Pong Cheese is brisk and mostly predictable, though not immune to the usual perils of third-party couriers and unpredictable logistics. Orders typically leave the warehouse within two working days, with an upper limit of five. After shipment, delivery is by overnight courier, aiming to arrive the following day—signature optional, cheese preservation essential.
Packaging includes frozen gel packs and paper straw, a combination that is more practical than glamorous but apparently does the job. Customers are encouraged to leave clear instructions for where to deposit the goods if no one is home. (Your neighbour may become unexpectedly well-acquainted with your cheese preferences.)
Specific delivery dates can be requested, though Pong wisely recommends allowing a buffer if your cheese is destined for an event. Saturday delivery is available—with caveats—and only within more accessible parts of the UK. The Highlands and islands, as ever, remain tricky.
UK weekday delivery starts at £4.95, with Saturday delivery at £9.95. Prices for areas classified as “out of area” start at £9.95 and go up from there. International shipping is technically available, with prices climbing steeply by destination. The EU is currently on pause, post-Brexit. Elsewhere, delivery is possible—assuming you're willing to pay up to £69.95 for the privilege.
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⭐ Rating: 3.8 / 5 (54 votes)