Sextoys.co.uk Discount Codes July 2025

There are only so many ways to write seriously about sex toys before the metaphors start to cave in on themselves. Animal metaphors, food-based wordplay - eventually, it’s just a lot of silicone and lithium-ion batteries. But behind the pun-heavy marketing and pastel-coloured packaging, there’s a growing sense of maturity in the bedroom accessories aisle. Take vibrating eggs, for example: discreet, increasingly high-tech, and often marketed with almost Apple-like restraint (if Tim Cook ever decides to pivot).

The Modern Egg: Tiny Tech with Unexpected Talents

"Egg vibrator" sounds like something invented during an experimental phase of late Soviet ergonomics. But strip away the phrase’s slightly comical name, and what remains is a compact, internal stimulation toy designed for solo use, partnered fun, and - less commonly discussed but just as important - those trying to reconnect with their sexual identity after illness or trauma. These toys are small enough to go unnoticed in a bag, silent enough to avoid suspicion through thin walls, and competent enough to earn a permanent spot in many bedside drawers.

SexToys.co.uk currently stocks a variety of egg vibrators, most hovering around the £35–£75 range. The site offers free, discreet shipping for orders over £40, which means you can either spend slightly more or add a bottle of (probably overpriced) lube to tip over the free-delivery threshold. And in May - which, thanks to someone in marketing who loves a theme, is apparently "Masturbation May" - you get 15% off lube when you buy two or more toys. It’s not life-changing, but every little helps, particularly when the energy bill’s due.

Not All Eggs Are Created Equal

The obvious entry-level pick is the Kiwi Rechargeable Insertable Bullet, a name which sounds oddly nutritious. It’s simple, has a soft loop handle you don’t have to awkwardly fish around for, and comes with a remote - the kind of feature partners love to misuse as a prank at dinner parties. With six intensity levels, it’s as whisper-quiet as anything containing a tiny motor can be, and waterproof, which should be standard by now but somehow isn’t.

Functionally, it’s solid. Realistically, it won’t ruin your life if you lose the remote down the back of the sofa. The manufacturer claims its silicone is "body-safe," which it should be, unless you’ve bought this from a discount bin in an abandoned car park - in which case, bigger problems await.

For those who want something a little more elaborate (or at least more colourful), there’s the Double Pop Eggs set. Dual bullets, bright colours, and a slightly bewildering number of usage combinations. Designed for simultaneous external and internal stimulation, it’s the Swiss Army knife of vibrators - handy, but slightly overkill for newcomers. Still, judging by reviews, these earn points for versatility and general robustness - like the Volvo of vibing. Bright, durable, gets the job done, and possibly Scandinavian.

Sales, Returns, and the Human Element

SexToys.co.uk takes the usual precautions for privacy - discreet packaging, GDPR compliance, and a returns process that’s surprisingly efficient (for unopened items, anyway - this is not the place to test the limits of "gently used"). Shipping is free over £40, as mentioned, and generally arrives within 3–5 working days. Somehow both faster and more reliable than most supermarket grocery services, which says as much about the courier industry as it does about customer priorities.

Refund policies are straightforward, and the site doesn’t bury terms and conditions in 40 paragraphs of legalese. That said, they aren’t Amazon; don’t expect same-day delivery, and definitely don’t expect a free replacement if your egg rolls under the radiator and vanishes into the void.

The Bottom Line

As far as discreet, versatile sex toys go, egg vibrators walk a fine line between ultra-practical and mildly absurd. They’re easy to overlook, but hard to beat in terms of travel-friendliness and sheer usability. SexToys.co.uk’s current lineup is mostly solid - lacking a true standout, but avoiding any obvious duds. And for the busy, skeptical, grown-up buyer, that’s probably enough: unfussy, pleasantly effective, and half-off lube for the effort.

Or, to put it another way: it’s just a vibrating egg. But it does its job. And sometimes that’s all you really need.

What you need to know